At this point, is there anything on Heidi Montag that isn't fake? From her creepy Barbie doll face to her size H (for Heidi, natch) breasts, the Hills star is the epitome of fake, and a cautionary tale to young starlets on why you shouldn't let your creepy boyfriend consult with your plastic surgeon.
All hail Snooki, Queen of the Oompa Loompas! Our favorite pint-size troublemaker really embraces her Jersey Shore roots with a tan so deep it's practically Technicolor. Between that and her blorange (blonde-orange) highlights, she's one step away from a sponsorship deal with Tropicana orange juice.
Uh, Tori? Don't look now, but it seems like one of your boobs might be deflating. Ms. Spelling's dented decolltage made our list, not only because it's just plain scary, but because we know she can afford better. Don't you just hate it when bad boob jobs happen to good people?
When Nicole Kidman admitted to using Botox, she looked surprised (well, as surprised as someone whose forehead is frozen in place can look) when we didn't seem shocked by the news. Sorry Nic, but your inability to convey human emotions in any of your recent films kind of gave it away.
On the day that Taylor Momsen and her awful hair were fired from Gossip Girl, it seemed like our long national nightmare might be over. Then Momsen decided she wanted to be a rock star and things only got worse. In addition to dealing with the ugliest hair extensions since Britney Spears' first comeback attempt, we were also treated to the No Pants Tour of 2011. We never thought we'd say it, but we're nostalgic for the days of Little J's Brooklyn mullet.
It gave us a sad to have to put Hilary Duff on this list--usually we adore her breezy California-Girl style--but those comically-sized chompers had to be acknowledged. We don't know what her dentist was thinking when he gave her veneers that big. Maybe he's trying to help her steal movie roles from Julia Roberts?
If there's anyone who should be locked up for excessive cosmetics abuse, it's Christina Aguilera. The Voice star has been wearing a Sephora store's worth of makeup on her face since her "Genie In A Bottle" days, but as she's gotten older, it's started to look more ridiculous. Stop spackling on the bronzer, ditch the smoky eye and just ease up a bit on that red lip, ok Christina? Ok. I'm glad we had this talk.
Oh Ashley. We both know you're better than this awful spray tan. Can we just agree that this was a moment of temporary tan insanity and move on with our lives? We'll even let you borrow our exfoliator, as long as you promise never to speak of this unfortunate incident again. Deal?
Not many people can emerge from jail and a stint in rehab with fuller lips than when they went in, but Lindsay Lohan laughs in the face of logic. Maybe they were having a special on collagen injections at the Los Angeles County Jail. Or maybe lip plumping is part of her court-mandated recovery process. Either way, the trout pout isn't doing her any favors--it looks like she's got a permanent lip snarl.