Listen Brad Pitt, it was super sexy when you had those long, flowing blonde locks in Legends of the Fall, but that movie took place at the turn of the twentieth century, and you were 31 at the time. Now, at 47, you look like a man in desperate need of a deep conditioning treatment clinging to his youth.
I'm just gonna go for the obvious joke here. Ashton Kutcher has clearly been getting hairstyle and beard inspiration from Jesus. That's one way to differentiate yourself from your predecessor Charlie Sheen, Ashton. I think most Sheen replacements would probably just be sane. Kutcher clearly likes to go the extra mile.
There are clearly some unspoken rules when it comes to rocking a man-bob: 1. Don't talk about the fact that you have a man-bob. (It's just like Fight Club.) 2. You must part your hair in the center. 3. You must be a male celebrity with so much money that people start asking, "He's David Beckham! Can't he afford a decent haircut?" But you don't care. You're David Beckham. You laugh in the face of short-haired conformists.
For someone so attractive and seemingly sure of himself, Tom Brady has certainly been experiencing some hirsute confusion for the past two years. First, the Patriots quarterback looked like a child molester from the '70s. Now, he thinks he's a Southern gangster of sorts. Maybe wife Gisele Bundchen can set him straight?